You Have Rights in Relationships
I’d like to ask your advice – I am having some trouble getting over a break up and wondering how to move forward. Basically, I was seeing a guy for a few months. We had spoken the first time we saw...
View ArticlePolyamorous and Scared
I wanted to ask you this because it’s been on my mind and I have no idea who I can talk about this to understand it better. As I read your post where you don’t have to be in a Poly Relationship if you...
View ArticlePolyamory and Focused Attention
My husband of 22 years has fallen in love with another woman and wants to spend one week a month with her in another state. After 2 years of therapy and a trial separation I am determined to stay...
View ArticleYour Partner Doesn’t Get to Read Your Texts
My husband and I started off in an open relationship, after having both had several years of being poly. After a while, we drifted towards monogamous assumptions and have been basically mono for more...
View ArticleYou Already Know the Answer
I need your opinion. Around 4 months ago I met my partner. After our second date he asked me if I’m ok with him dating others as well – I said it’s not a problem, but I won’t do it and prefer a...
View ArticleIt’s Not Up to You
Hello, my husband and I have been with our partner only about three months she’s 21 and lives with family. Her family is now making her choose whether or not to be with us or them. We love her and want...
View ArticleWhy Do You Want Polyamory?
Hello Goddess of Java, I’m really seeking to broaden my thinking and be realistic about relationships. I’m considering polyamory but am concerned that I won’t be able to handle it once I’m in. I’m...
View ArticleOpportunity to Start Polyamory Right
I have recently found myself in an interesting but confusing position. I’ve been married for 10 years to a wonderful partner whom I genuinely love. Recently, I have met a person who I have become...
View ArticleWe’re Bad at Predicting Feelings
In many ways I feel bad asking for this advice because I think deep down, I know what I should be doing (not to mention I feel as though I am still in the phase of rehashing and overanalysing...
View ArticleSome People’s Children
My partner and I are poly and I have a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, who is married. My partner is just starting to date my boyfriend’s wife. We all get along famously, but I have a thorny...
View ArticleBetrayal, Comfort Zones and Healing
Hello. So I think I should start out with some back story. In my last relationship, I had two male partners. One I lived with, and one long distance. Me and my primary (actual boyfriend) were together...
View ArticleBut, I’m Poly Now!
I’ve seen a few posts by people struggling with the fact that their long-term partner ‘came out’ to them as poly and now wants to have more partners. I know Dan Savage has come under fire for saying...
View ArticleDon’t Be the Cool Chick
I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he...
View ArticleThree Easy Tips for Dealing with Jealousy
I was asked in a Tumblr post if there was a secret to getting rid of jealousy. I realized that it was actually a good topic for a Misanthrope column, so here ’tis. Here’s the problem, and it’s one of...
View ArticleYou’re Not a Damn Piece of Candy
A Reader Wrote: I was super happy to message you and then I saw your polyamory failed experiment post and I got super confused but then I realized it was an april fool’s joke and now I’m happy again....
View ArticleNot for Personal Growth
This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I...
View ArticleDaughter Needs Reassurance
If you have any, I could use some advice. I need to know how to help my daughter deal with her hurt and confusion over the ‘adult’ relationships. A little back story…my husband and I have been together...
View ArticleBFFs is Not a Requirement
My husband and I have been poly for awhile. A couple of years ago, he met a girl he really clicked with. Great chemistry, and they love each other to pieces. I’m happy for him! But I can’t bring...
View ArticleIt’s Not Too Much to Ask
[snippage of some poly history of being involved with a married couple, and the desire to find a full partner] It turns out that there are plenty of people interested in hooking up with young,...
View ArticleEmotional Self-Protection
I need some wisdom to go with my dilemma. My boyfriends wife has basically opted out of her relationship with him lately and it’s starting to worry me on multiple levels. At first, when I started to...
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